Strange Logic

I saw these the other day and found them amusing:

• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• You have the right to remain silent. Any thing you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Remember half the people you know are below average.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
• Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

And...
If con is opposite to pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?