Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Disillusioned



I am fed up with love.


Ok so that's rather a shocking statement not meant to be taken literally. I am tired of all of the hype about looove and falling in love and whose dating whom etc. Why is our culture so big on "finding your soulmate?" Why do we want a fairy tale ending to our stories? Why are we so adamant about nothing but the deepest of love ever inducing us to matrimony? Okay, so I know the answer to all of the above, but it frustrates me.

Has anyone wondered why our ancestors had a better rate for successful marriage than we do? Has anyone thought that perhaps marriage isn't all about love (as in warm fuzzy feelings)? That maybe, just maybe, you should marry someone because they have the same principles and values of you; because you see eye-to-eye on raising children, and their education, and how the family is to be run; because your personalities are compatible, and your religious beliefs are the same (both generally and in essential particulars). Has anyone ever thought that commitment based on the facts just might be a better reason to say "I do" than the feelings you get on a cool night with the stars reflected in his/her eyes?

No, I'm not discounting the lovey-dovey feelings. I recognize that there should be a legitimate place for those, but I think waaayy too much emphasis is put on that to the ultimate exclusion of anything else. Then we wonder why we are so messed up and why we aren't happy. Maybe we should marry more for all of those other reasons I mentioned. Maybe our homes would be more stable and our lives more fulfilled and happy. Marry for love. But please, please make sure it is a stable, steadfast love. Not the fly-by-night ushy-gushy feelings incorrectly called love.

original image source

3 comments:

Euphreana said...

Yes, yes, and yes.
I've come to the conclusion that a lot of people are simply self-centered, since love (and lust and 'physical love') is all about how wonderful it is to YOU. Of course, we're taught to be self-centered and self-seeking from birth, so what's the point of changing now?

[/steamyrant.]

Michael said...

Wow...two years hiatus...

are you going to start posting regularly again? Or was this just a quick rant and then disappear into the cyber void again?

Sophie said...

My goal is to post at least semi-regularly. I make no promises because life likes to interrupt, but I don't plan on disappearing again anytime soon.