"In some ways we would prefer to hear Jesus' call to deny father and mother, houses and land for the sake of the gospel, and His word to wash feet. Radical self-denial gives the feel of adventure. If we forsake all, we even have the chance of glorious maryrdom. But in service we are banished to the mundane, the ordinary, the trivial." - Richard FosterI must admit this cut right to the heart of me. Have you ever been truly startled and dr-r-aw-w-n your breath in (while your mind blacks in and out rapidly with the dashes the whole ordeal lasting .5 sec)? That's exactly what happened to me. I serve, and I enjoy serving ... most of the time. However, I am guilty of this exact thought "Why does God never ask me to forsake all I know, to sell all my possessions, to go into an land unknown? I want to do something besides just help other leaders out. Why doesn't he lead me to serve him in some way more exciting? (I mean, it's not like I'm not willing.)" OU-OUCH.
Consider this situation presented by John Newton:
If two angels were to receive at the same moment a commission from God, one to go down and rule earth's grandest empire, the other to go and sweep the streets of its meanest village, it would be a matter of entire indifference to each which service fell to his lot, the post of ruler or the post of scavenger; for the joy of the angels lies only in obedience to God's will.
That is why I am where I am. It matters to me. Quite frankly it matters. That now bothers me and vexes me a great deal. I must learn to be humble. I must humble myself. You know God doesn't tell us to ask him to humble us. He tells us to humble ourselves (James 4:10, 1 Peter 5:6). My pastor once said "when God humbles you it's called humiliation," and such is true. I need to be content in my place, if God sees it proper to move me elsewhere he will. In his time, and in his way. It need not matter to me whether I minister in the jungles of Africa, in the palaces of Britain, in the slums of LA, or in my own backyard. What matters is that I am serving Christ.
Robert Rodenmeyer once said, "There are three kinds of giving: grudge giving, duty giving, and thanksgiving. Grudge giving says, "I have to'; duty giving says, 'I ought to'; thanksgiving says, 'I want to.'" I am often a dutiful giver in many areas. I know I ought to do something so I do. I want to become a thanksgiver, indeed such is what God desires as well.
Until my pride is removed, until I am humble, until I am a thanksgiver I doubt my walk with Christ can go much deeper. Now I resolve to work on these problems in my life and this I can be assured of: Satan will try and prevent me on every side. Any prayers offered on my behalf are much appreciated.
original image source